Hiei's Birthday
by SaiyanZero
Summary: It's Hiei's Birthday and he's acting all strange! He's baked a cake with Kuwabara! He's gone to the circus and watched elephants! And now he's...hey, why's he looking at Toguro with the wild-man look in his eye! Why's he doing it? (This isn't Yaoi)


Y U Y U H A K U S H O  
  
HIEI'S  
  
BIRTHDAY  
  
CAUTION ADVISED: Yu Yu Hakusho fans may find this utterly disturbing and out of character.  
  
"Eight....nine....and ten!! The official winner is Hiei!" Koto said. Bui had just fallen to Hiei's new black dragon empowerment ability.  
"There," said Hiei, walking out of the ring. "I'm done. I will not fight a single more person in this tournament." He slowly began to walk toward the locker room.  
"But Hiei," said Kurama. "You should at least watch and cheer your teammates on."  
"No," said Hiei. "It's...It's my birthday." Kurama gasped.  
"Hiei's very sensitive about his birthday!" he exclaimed. Hiei nodded.  
"We've just been informed it's Hiei's birthday!" exclaimed Koto. "We will let him celebrate as we get a replacement ring."  
Over on team Toguro's side, the remaining three contestants talked.  
"Hey," said Sakyo. "Can't you just carry the new ring on your back, Toguro?"  
"I could. But let's not spoil the little shorty's birthday."  
  
"Hey, Kuwabara," said Hiei. "Follow me. Let's go have some fun." Kuwabara yelled, "Wow, you really mean it?! I can't believe you actually called me something besides 'cretin.' Ok, I'm coming."  
"But Hiei," said Kurama. "You must rest. Your attack expired."  
"Shut up, fox boy," Hiei said. "You're just jealous because it's MY birthday." Kuwabara and Hiei walked away.  
An hour later, they arrived at the circus. Kuwabara and Hiei watched the clowns and tigers.  
"WOW!!" Hiei yelled. "I LOVE THE ELEPHANTS!!!" He pointed to one of the clowns and said, "Hey, dude! Throw me some peanuts for free, it's my birthday!!" The clown hucked some peanuts at him. "YAY!! I REALLY ENJOY PEANUTS!!" Kuwabara noticed Hiei was all of a sudden acting very happy...psycho happy. But, who cares when the elephants are dancing!?  
  
"Team Urameshi, please report to the main ring to have a free for all against this new sexy contestant!"  
"Hey shut up," said Yusuke. "Or I'll blow your head off."  
"JERKASS!!" Koto yelled.  
A blast tore through the 'sexy contestant' while a voice yelled, "SHOTGUN!!"  
The body lay dead on the ground. Yusuke stood behind it. "There, we fought. Now I gotta get to the birthday party, so later!!"  
  
"Man, Hiei, what an awesome cake!!" said Kuwabara, holding plates and forks.  
"Thanks," said Hiei. "I'm glad we made it." The chocolate cake Hiei was carrying showed him cutting a demon's face off. They brought it to the table and Kuwabara cut the cake. Slowly, Kurama silently, stilly, Kurama cut a tiny piece of the cake and placed it in his mouth. He slowly swallowed. Yusuke began shoveling the pieces of cake down his throat by the second. Finally, when the cake was done, Yusuke whispered to Kurama, "Hey, man, why's Hiei acting so....ya know...."  
Kurama nodded. "Every birthday, Hiei begins to like the people he hates. The more he hates them usually, the more he likes them now." This produced Yusuke's mind with disturbing images. "So..." said Yusuke. "That would make Toguro..."  
"His lover," Kurama finished. Yusuke stood up. "AW SHIT!!" Hiei all of a sudden dropped his dishes and turned around. Zombie-like, he said,  
"Toguro awaits."  
"STOP HIM!" cried Yusuke. The three ran after Hiei. They followed him past the circus, and back into the tournament. Hiei crossed the field and went into Team Toguro's locker room. Yusuke grabbed Hiei's arm. Hiei punched Yusuke and continued walking. He looked inside Toguro's room.  
"Man," said Toguro. "Watching all these fights build tension. I need some more hair gel."  
"YES!!" Hiei whispered. "Put on the hair gel!" Yusuke, Kuwabara, and Kurama figured they needed to beat Hiei to the room without being seen, so they took the air vent. They peered down at Toguro. Hiei was approaching him.  
"No..." Yusuke whispered. "HIEI, STOP!" He punched the vent and fell into Toguro's room. Toguro gasped. Kurama grabbed Hiei and jumped out of the room. Yusuke turned around and punched Toguro into a locker and slammed it shut. They all ran back to Team Urameshi's locker room. Hiei broke down in a laughing fit.  
"Damn," Yusuke panted. "What could possibly be funny now?"  
"Gotcha," Hiei said. "My birthday's not for another week."  
  



End file.
